"Dog Vomit" Slime Mold

I began this post with "This has got to be the worst vegetable gardening season I've even had," but I deleted that since it IS the worst vegetable gardening season I've ever had!

Despite all the extra time and effort (winter sowing) and expense (seeds and raised bed "soil") one negative thing after another has been happening.

But, "dog vomit" slime mold?  I am over 60 years old, and in all my years of gardening, or watching parents garden I have never seen, or heard of this.   "DOG VOMIT" SLIME MOLD? Have you had this in your garden? 

This is what I woke up to this morning.  Like my second sowing of bush beans don't have enough to worry about already, what with earwigs abounding. 

Apparently, it isn't harmful, doesn't hurt a thing, just looks ugly, like... well... like dog vomit!  If the dog had eaten something that made it ill, like snail bait (I use the non-hazardous to animal kind, which honestly doesn't work as well as the real poison kind that kills them in their slimy tracks). 

I could try hosing it away, but that just spread the spores.  If I leave it, in a day or two it will turn brown and have slimed a bit larger.  So, I'll scrape it up with a shovel and dispose of it.  Unless moving it disperses spores as well...  maybe I'd better leave it alone, like mildew on walls sometimes it is made worse by cleaning it incorrectly.  (Yes, I speak from experience about mildew on walls.)

Slime molds, despite their names, are not molds at all.  They are actually one celled organisms, like amoebas!  This clump of junk is actually a part of the life cycle where they come together to form one giant cell with multiple nuclei.  I didn't know that was even possible.   The diversity of life never ceases to amaze. 

http://homeguides.sfgate.com/yellow-slime-grass-61910.html

Where did it come from?  Since it is limited to the cedar 4 x 8 bed, and that is the only one topped with a bagged raised bed mix (the instructions said to spread a layer on top of the other soil in the bed, so it wasn't dug in), it obviously came from that mix.  I read that it's spread via wood mulch, and this "soil" was pretty much nothing but mulch.  It's inferior stuff that I do not recommend, and not just because of the slime mold spores!  

Things just aren't growing well in it.  Transplants are the same size weeks later, but the Mediterranean hartwort I removed after the Great Earwig Disaster went from flat rosettes to tall plants with flowers from May 30th to June 7th.

The bell pepper plant barely bigger than when I purchased it on May 10.

So just what is this junk soil?  It's at Lowes, Harvest Organics Raised Bed and Potting Mix.  Go with Gardner and Bloome Raised Bed Mix, also sold at Home Depot under the brand name Kellogg.  It's a cubit foot more for only a dollar more.  I wish I'd ordered a pile of soil to be delivered.  I thought I was making things easier, but I wasted the money, my time and effort, and just maybe the growing season for at least this bed and some containers.  

Earwigs...

"Dog Vomit" slime mold...

Inferior soil...

This is getting discouraging.  Tomatoes may be the only success this season.  It's a good think I don't depend on my garden to feed a family!  

Updated:  I scooped the "vomit" into a plastic bag, trying not to disturb it too much, hopefully to keep the spores intact.  It was already drying and changing color.